And… Breathe

Feeling a little floaty today. I’m what, nearly five weeks into the new job now? And today’s the first time I’ve had a moment where I could sit back and sort of go – oh, okay. I’m mostly up to date.

It feels… Odd.

Because in the last month, I’ve pretty much had to let go of writing and publishing stuff in order to navigate the new job (well, not entirely, I had a bunch of deadlines for Stand-In Hearts at the end of Jan, but that was a good 2-3 weeks ago now and feels like forever?), and even though there are some things I’m going to need to get into really soon, right now, I’m in between… everything.

I feel like that quiet moment when you dive into a pool and reach the bottom of your arc, and then you glance up at the sunlight above, streaming in through the water, and just for that split instant, before your lungs start thinking about needed air, before you have to move your arms again to regain momentum, before your eyes start hurting from the water, there’s just… you. Floating.

Blue and gold, soft and gentle, liquid, languid, effortless.

Just for an instant. Before reality intrudes.

I don’t remember feeling like this in years.

And I started working on a novel again this week. It’s in slow, slow bursts – I can’t sustain a full hour+ of solid writing like I could a year ago when I was in condition, as it were, but I can do a couple of 15 minute sprints back to back, and it takes me about 200 sprints to complete a novel, provided nothing in it is broken enough to require extensive rewrites.

200 sprints is manageable. That’s a number I can work with.

I’ve already done 11 for this novel.

Only 189 to go.

But right now, I’m going to open my eyes to the sunshine, and enjoy the momentary glide. Before I have to stroke back up to the surface and inhale another gasp of air.

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