…The other thing I seem to be really good at doing on a regular basis is forgetting lessons I have already learned. This week, in Things Amy Did But Should Have Known Better, more amines!
I stumbled across this post from last year on the weekend, and was like, yup, definitely used to be smarter at one point >.< Last week was a write-off due to an unhappy confluence of deadlines + work stuff, but I lost the two weeks before that to amines. I’d somehow forgotten ALL ABOUT the also-unhappy relationship between amine-consumption and my ability to write, and was trialling eating amines (no, auto-correct, not Admins, that would be a Very Different Tale) for breakfast and lunch but not dinner. It seemed to work okay for my ability to sleep, at least for a week, until I crashed significantly on Sunday night and ended up having to go home from work sick on Monday >.< #LifeFail. It was about that point that I realised I hadn’t written a thing all week.
And then I didn’t write anything the next week, because I was recovering. And then I didn’t write anything last week because: confluence of deadlines. And then I’ve written barely anything this week because: continued fallout from deadline confluence.
I’ve lost practically a month of writing, and at least half of that was amine related.
Research suggests that if I can stay off all my wide-and-varied intolerances for 1-2 years while taking a pharmaceutical-grade probiotic, I may be able to heal enough to expand my ability to eat. That would be nice.
The chances of me being able to stick strictly to this diet for over a year at this point? *sob* Evidence thus far ain’t great. I said in the post linked to above that sticking to the diet would be easier now I realised it was impacting my writing, which is true–but only so long as I remember this correlation. The last few months have been a dizzying yo-yo of remember-forget, remember-forget.
That said, I did stick my head out of the car window* this evening on the way home to grin madly at Lake George shining in the darkness of a half-moon and pretend like I was flying, which my husband pointed out is a very Old!Amy** thing to do, so keeping off all the various Food Poisons for the last week + mostly keeping off them for the last few months does seem to be helping? At the very least, I spent all of last week going to bed around midnight because: deadlines, and while I am SMASHED, I am optimistically exhausted, or at least merely cranky-exhausted, rather than full-on gripped by the throes of depression, which would usually have set in by now with this degree of sleep deprivation.
So: I guess baby steps are important too, which is another lesson I apparently need to keep relearning.
Baby steps, a whole lot of willpower, and an attempt to remember that which I have already learned, and perhaps one day I will no longer have to choose between eating and writing. #sigh.
* Like, just a little bit. My forehead only, really. We were travelling at 120km/hr down the freeway at night with an outside air temp of 4C. I’m not stupid, remember.*** O:)
** Old as in the-way-I-used-to-be, since I’m not Benjamin Button and ageing backwards.
*** Though there was this hilarious moment when I withdrew to the warmth and safety of the car when I realised that my hair had whipped out the window beyond me and was now tangled quite tightly around the bolt of the window’s rain guard thing. :’D